101 Uses for the UN Flag

by Jefferson Adams

It may not have happened in your community yet, but it seems that the UN flag is popping up like mushrooms in cities and towns all over America. And if you understand what mushrooms grow in, the analogy is remarkable appropriate.

Since most of the folks who will read this article probably don’t agree with the idea of the UN flag flying above American soil, and since there are an increasing number of them making appearances all over the country, we at The Idaho Observer felt it incumbent upon us to come up with other uses for them; after all, once they are removed from flagpoles you gotta do something with them.

With the help of friends on the Internet we’ve compiled the following possible uses for the UN flag:

• Air-sickness bags (put the UN logo inside the bag - no point in making people sick just by seeing the bag)
• Artillery reference point - to fire at for effect
• Bath towel - to wipe certain body parts
• Bird cage liner
• Burn at patriotic rallies
• Candle/lamp wicks
• Cat bed liner - to keep the fleas off your good blankie
• Cat box liner
• Cat litter
• Cat scratching post - to wrap around the post and let your cat get its claws into - good kitty!!!
• Chainsaw wipe down rag
• Chimney sweep rag
• Chimney sweep tarp - to protect your carpet from soot
• Compost
• Corpse blanket—to wrap up the dead politicians, BATF, FBI, FEMA, etc., or anyone else who tries to collect our guns.
• Dart board backdrop
• Diapers - turned out, not in
• Dipstick rag carried under the hood of your vehicle
• Dog urine wheel protectors
• Doggy chastity belt
• Doggy chew toy
• Dog poop cleaner upper
• Doormats - to wipe muddy feet on, at home or place of business
• Dryer vent filter/lint catcher
• Drop cloth - to use while you are painting and other dirty jobs
• Dust rag
• Emergency heating fuel - burn in fireplace
• Feminine napkins
• Fill material in nuclear waste shipping containers
• Filler material in roofing shingles
• Fire starter - soak in kerosene
• Food - to cram down the throats of crooked politicians, lawyers, and judges
• Food wrapper - to wrap spoiled food in; especially good for rotten fish parts
• Garage - if your car has oil leaks, you should have one under it to keep garage clean
• Garbage can liner
• Goat feed - to feed your goats - except your favorite one, of course
• Gun cleaning rags, sold at gun shows
• Gutter rag
• Handkerchief - use to blow your nose on
• Hang one out the bottom of your driver’s door, into the street, dragging through the mud as an excellent way to initiate a UN conversation
• Ink blotter
• Insoles
• Kitchen towel - to clean up all the grease and grime & keep your other towels clean
• Molotov cocktails
• Mops
• Mud flaps
• Nuclear waste filler - put in nuclear waste containers
• On the floor under junior’s height chair for food droppings
• Outhouse wallpaper - tack up on the outhouse walls (could be used for TP later)
• Outhouse wipes (use with caution, may cause rash)
• Overalls - put them on the butt of your bib overalls
• Paint brush cleaning rag - to clean up all your old paint brushes with
• Paint filter - use to strain your old paint with
• Panty hose laundry bag - tie up your panty hose in them when you wash them
• Print them on rolls of toilet paper
• Puppy house-training - Scotchgard coated for repeated use
• Put it in a jar of urine and call it art
• Road patch - place flag in pothole, pour tar generously, pack down
• Suppositories - for Bill and Hillary to use
• Send to drug king pins (or CIA) for wrapping illegal drugs
• Shoe polish rag
• Shop rags
• Table cloth - for when your one-year old grandchild is coming over
• Targets - add numbers to the lines of latitude and you’ve got an excellent range target
• Temporary gas cap
• Test acids on
• Toilet seat liner - drape over the toilet seat for sanitation reasons; flush after use
• Trench liner - to line slit trenches with
• Under grandpa’s spittoon
• Vomit bucket, when you have stomach flu
• Wrap spoiled food in, for disposal

  The above list is by no means complete. We invite our readers to contact The Idaho Observer at (208) 777-7888, FAX (208) 777-2032 or email us with more wonderfully American uses for the UN flag, to be printed in a future edition of The Idaho Observer.

email: observer@dmi.net